David Cheezum told police three man dressed as ninjas held him down, covered his mouth and took his wallet, cell phone and cash.
The ninjas were wearing gloves and had guns, police said.
When did the ancient art of the pistol become a mainstay of the "ninja" arsenal? It's amazing how the Internet obsession with ninjas is resulting in morons dressing up in outfits in order to commit crimes. I can just hear Hillary now, "we will not stand for ninja attacks in our backyard, these ninjas are the real terrorists." Seriously, that may actually happen, would anyone put that past her?
The second story is a moral lesson: Don't steal pizza, especially not in Michigan. Police actually used a battering ram to enter the apartment of the food thieves (who were probably doing their best impersonation of Towlie at the time.) Here's a sample:
Jessica Gray, 19, of Eastpointe was arrested Wednesday after she and the occupants of her apartment refused to pay for a delivery of pizza, ribs, chicken, shrimp and a soda valued at $17.18, police say.
...Police then broke down the door, and the delivery man identified Gray as the person who took the meal. Police recovered rib bones, chicken bones and shrimp tails as evidence.
This is just full of great stuff. First, let me just say getting a pizza, ribs, chicken, shrimp, and soda for 17.18 is a damn good deal, and the company should use this as one hell of an advertising promotion. Second, the teenage morons inside who stole the food had to have the absolute funniest looks on their faces when the police busted in their door after mocking the delivery guy and the police, I'm sure the looks were priceless. Finally, the evidence collected is hysterical. Imagine having to DNA test that. This story will definitely be a rallying cry for delivery guys everywhere.
Well there it is folks, something a little different for you to lead the day off. Keep you on guard and all that jazz. All this talk of pizza and ninjas..hey, I wonder where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were...hmmm....maybe Dennis Kucinich can investigate with aid from his friends on that UFO.