A Letter to Citgo

Dear Citgo:
Your leader, Hugo Chavez, a man who wants to crotch nozzle Lenin, a person who has made so many anti-American remarks in the past that it is borderline irresponsible to not mention this fact, has made it impossible for me to buy gasoline from your class warfare institution. I have seen a great deal of your commercials in the US about how you provide low price oil to low income households in exchange for their testimonials. However, unless an individual was essentially completely non lucid, one may ask, if you were truly concerned about the average America, and not just crotch nozzling for people to appear in commercials, why you would charge the exact market rate, and not a very much lower rate for those of us in America who are not rich. Granted, you have not given me the golden check as of yet, but none of us Capitalists who still believe in society are buying your bullshit. I'd sooner pay for baboon feces to power my automobile than for one red cent go to you. Have a lovely day.
Love,
(My Real Name)
-Caomhin